coming soon...

im so excited!

i have just purchased a website of my own and im (blood-and-sweat) trying to figure everything out from site-hosting to designing to publishing. whew! it's such a chore!

watch out for the launch of:

www.edmirdlagui.com

whoohoo!

so ganito yun...

dec-29. na-meet ko si boylet sa isang coffee gathering ng friends. may nag-invite sa akin sa isang birthday party ng isang friend, so sumama ako, then sumama rin sya nung niyaya ko. kahit may pupuntahan siya at hindi naman niya kilala si friend. i liked him that same night. bright, meaningful eyes, shy-type, matangkad na moreno, although slender not muscular body. very ordinary, pero sooooper soft-spoken, mabait and gentleman ever...

dec-30. may party ang bading group namin. daming um-attend. 170 members yata, so sobrang gulo sa party and everything. may friend ako na ex ng superfriend ko. si superfriend ko, kasama ko sa party, along with other friends. hetong friend ko na ex ni superfriend naman ang katabi ko sa kabilang side.

so itong si friend, nung nakita si boylet ko, tumabi sa akin. ibinulong nya "...uy date kami mamaya nyan ni boylet..."

e itong friend ko, hindi nya alam na BETter days ko nga si boylet, so deadma lang ako. around 1 am, nagpaalam na si friend ko na aalis na raw sya... at kasama nya si boylet ko, hayyy...

ang boylet ay di naman masasabing bakla-ero. the matter is, hindi nya alam na BETter days ko nga sya.

lumipas ang araw, nagtetext kami ni boylet, pati ni friend. although mas madalas si boylet--something like "patikim ng luto ko, pasyalan raw nya ako, superbait ko daw at masayang kasama..." yung mga ganun. e nakakatunaw na yun sa akin mare.

then a week passed.

hindi ako tyope neng, di ba, nagbago na ako?

one day lang ang pagitan. di naman ako pwedeng magpropose nung gabing nag-meet kami, baka sabihin nya makati girl ako, no.

so akala ko the night after the first meeting pwede ko nang sabihin.

e itong friend ko pala, may date factor na agad. leche talaga.

anyway...

jan-5. friday ulit. nagkita-kita na naman kami sa coffee gathering. late ako as usual kasi may kachika pa akong baklang sosyal sa greenbelt. itong boylet, tinatanong kung nasaan ako, dahil nasa glorietta lang daw sya. e sabi ko, nasa greenbelt lang ako, may kausap.

sabi nya sasabayan raw nya ako papunta sa coffee-han para may kasabay ako ever. mga one hour pa nya akong hihintayin. so ok lang naman daw sa kanya.

after a while, nagtext ulit sya. sabi nya, bigla daw dumating si friend ko sa glorietta. nalaman na nandun sya. kaya sila na ang magkasabay. zero na naman ako.

neng, di pa doon natapos. heto na ang punchline.

nung dumating ako sa coffee-han, kasama ko ang isa kong superfriend, nandun na sila ni boylet.

hala, at super-salubong ang boylet--nag-so-sorry nang palihim, may payakap-yakap pa, dahil di raw sya natuloy sunduin ako. sabi ko, ok lang, alam ko naman na may kasama rin sya talaga.

at nandun nga yung friend ko. kasama nya. di ko naman pwedeng isnabin kasi close din kami nun. so gow lang ako with the flow. hayan, umaatikabong chikahan na naman among gayfriends.

after a while, nasarili ko ulit si boylet--after 2 hours yata yun. tinatanong ko sya, kung like na sya si friend ko. di nya ako masagot! dami daw nyang iniisip. nakakaloka!

sabi ko, tinatanong ko lang kung like nya, dami agad sinabi. kesyo ganun, kesyo ganito. pinilit ko. sabi nya may like din daw sya. pero like nya rin si friend ko.

e di syempre, iniisip ko kung ako yung like nya. pero since SIYA ang tyope, di nya masabi sa akin. di ko nama kayang magtapat. dahil friend ko nga ang kalaban ko.

so doon na lang muna...

after that moment, nagkayayaan pumunta sa malate. heto na. itong superfriend ko, pinilit na magkasama kami sa taxi (kasi wala nang car, hahaha) nitong si boylet at friend ko.

di talaga ako nagsasalita sa taxi. nagtataka tuloy itong iba naming kasabay. anong gagawin ko? alangan namang magkunwari ako da va?

12:30am, nasa malate na ang mga bakla. nagsidatingan na rin ang mga friends na iba, so halos kami lang ang nasa buong 2nd floor ng chelu. parang private party.

tumabi sa akin si boylet. tinatanong kung bakit raw wala akong kibo. sabi ko tired lang ako. ( o di ba, very cinematic ang linya ko?)

maya-maya, si friend naman ang tumabi. ganun din ang itinatanong. neng, ang isinagot ko: "kuya, (talking to the cute waiter), bigyan mo naman ako ng 2 shots of bailey's on the rocks."

deadma na ako. kasi naiinis na ako sa mga pangyayari.

tungga si bakla.

tungga ulit. one after another. as in sabi ko sa kuyang waiter, keep it coming.

ang gugulo na naming lahat. tapos itong couple (boylet+friend ko), di masyadong chumichika. yun pala, itong nsi boylet nakatingin sa akin. itong friend ko, nakatingin naman sa katabi ko--yung ex nya na superfriend ko, hahaha!

kaya naloka ang lahat ng tao! iilan lang ang may-alam about me and the boylet, pero lahat ng tao alam about my superfriend and his ex. kaloka ang mundo! ang ginawa namin ng superfriend ko, pinakita namin na nag-uusap kami at nagtatawanan ang everything.

one moment, lumabas si superfriend ko. bumili ng yosi. maya-maya, lumabas din si ex nya na friend ko. nagchikahan yata sila sa labas. hahaha!

e di naiwan kami ng mga friends and the boylet.

nilapitan niya ulit ako. sabi nya, sana huwag akong masyadong maglasing, kasi baka wala akong kasabay pauwi. sabi ko, ok lang, wala naman talaga akong kasabay forever. forever and ever.

then sabi ko, umalis na sya sa tabi ko. baka dumating na ang jowa nya. ayaw nya, dahil di raw nya jowa yun. ka-date lang nya.

nakakaloka. sabi ko, ano ba ang pagkakaiba ng ka-date sa jowa? e syempre lasing na ako kaya wala na akong sense magsalita masyado. sabi nya malaki raw. pwede raw syang mag-date ng kung sinuman, pero iba pa rin ang gusto nya. sabi ko, e bakit hindi nya i-date yung gusto nya? sabi nya, natatakot raw sya.

hala!

then bumalik na ang mag-ex. siguro tapos nang mag-usap. mga 3am na nun, ayoko na talaga. kasi si boylet, hindi na iniintindi ang kasama nya. sa akin na lang palagi nakatingin. sa akin lang nakikipag-usap. naiinis ako. ayokong magkaroon ng something. paalis na ako, e. friend ko pa yung involved.

sabi ko sa lahat, uuwi na ako. kasi sobrang dinudugo ang dibdib ko. nagulat ang lahat, hahaha! pero di na sila nakaimik dahil umalis agad ako. sinundan ako ng 4 other friends ko. inihatid ako sa baywatch tower. kasi nga lasing na ang bakla.

pagdating namin sa bahay, para akong lukaret. hahaha! as in!

neng, after an hour, nang mahimasmasan ako, tinext ko si boylet. sinabi ko talaga lahat. gusto kong tawagan sya, kaya lang, kasama pa nya si friend ko. sinagot nya ako ng:

"im flattered, very happy and very overwhelmed. i don't know what to say. i know im not as goodlooking as you. kaya natakot akong sabihing i like you. but here you are, ikaw pa nagsabi that you like me. if only i could turn back the time. i'd rather have you..."

di na ako nagreply. natulog na ako.

if time is God...

then...

we would all have our guardian angels on our wrists telling us He's always there with us all the time.

we would always be reminded of our 'waking hours' in those alarm clocks we put beside our beds every night, telling us He will always be there when we need Him.

He would be the bundy clock in the office so we would not be late, like we don't want to be late to hear the priest's sermon at a mass.

we would have all the our altars at home, called the clock, to remind us that He is at home, all the time.

that alarm sound on our mobile phones or computers would be His way of reminding us it's about time to look at Him and say 'thank you for reminding me.'

telling our age would not be a problem; it would only say how long we have been living with God.

that Big Ben in London (or the one in Manila's City Hall) would be the Londoner's (or Manileno's) patron saint.

that timer on your iPod (or Media Player) would tell you how long each Gospel song is.

that timer on Mr. Treadmill would be your guide to see those 'footprints in the sand.'

that even though we have our different names for our God (be it rolex, boucheron, patek, etcetera), we will always be telling the same Time.

that even though we live on different time zones, there is always 12 midnight and 12 noon on our watches and clocks.



(just a thought, just a thought...)


...and if Time exists, so does Space...

they cannot be separated.

duality. balance. yin-yang.

es esta de aqui (it's this one here)

in this life, we have to remember two things:

1) we get what we want/need
2) we don't get what we want/need

and both of them has to happen every once in a while.

and both of them happens to everyone. as in everyone in the world.

the only difference is how we take them to ourselves.

we accept things as they are, yes, that's good.

we don't accept things at first, but we learn sooner or later, that's also good.

but only a few people manage to see how beautiful life is when you don't have everything what you want/need.

it keeps your feet on the ground... and makes you bring more than what you have.

you can love more, because not everyone can love that much.

you can dream more, because not everyone can have everything in the world.

you can hope and pray for more, because there are only a few ways to achieve what we want.

and from these things, we become better persons...

'mild' jolt from Jostein and Darwin

(note: this is the message i sent my friend darwin this morning)

choi,

thanks for that wonderful sharing about relating with parents. i have just finished a book last night from one of my favorite authors, Jostein Gaarder. the book is called The Orange Girl, which is about a dead dad's letter to his son (Georg) he made 11 years ago, a few days before the dad died.

the story tells of the love story of the dad and the Orange Girl, which happened to be Georg's Mom.

at the end of the story, Georg advises to get to know our parents more--specifically, their lives before they got married, and more importantly, how they got together.

i got teary-eyed with a lot of things Georg told me about relating with our parents, and i have realized there is not enough time to know a lot of people, and our parents, sometimes, are the least probable people we wanted to get to know.

thanks for that reminder, shall i say, a 'mild' jolt.

we pray for your aunt's wellness, if not faster recovery.

there's another very important thing the book taught me:

"there's a very special name for things that we don't expect to happen, they just do. this is called hope."

all in due time, God will put things into place.

have a great day!

top picks

i am not running out of sensible blogs. im just so into digging music here and there and i just thought 'why not vandalize my fab shrine with my current album picks?'

who knows, you might actually find these interesting that you'll start your limewire engine running!

(in no particular order):

1) Dreamgirls Soundtrack - Beyonce Knowles, Jennifer Hudson, Anika Noni Rose, Jamie Foxx, Eddir Murphy, Keith Robinson, Sharon Leal

2) How to Save a Life - The Fray

3) 30 Seconds to Mars - 30 Seconds to Mars

4) A Beautiful Lie - 30 Seconds to Mars

5) A Fever You Can't Sweat - Panic! at the Disco

6) Bleach Soundtrack - Orange Range, Asterisk, Yui, Ichirin no Hana, Rie Fu

7) Armani Exchange - Mixed by Peter Rauhofen

8) Art of War - Bone Thugs 'n Harmony

9) At Worst: The Best of Culture Club - Boy George and the Culture Club

10) B-Day - Beyonce Knowles

11) Blueprints for the Black Market - Anberlin

12) Continuum - John Mayer

13) St. Elsewhere - Gnarls Barkley

14) CrazySexyCool - TLC

15) Dante's Cove Soundtrack - Composed by Eric Allaman

16) Latter Days Soundtrack - Nitta Whitaker, Toad the Wet Sprocket, Rebecca Jordan, Bobby Joyner

17) Demon Days - Gorillaz

18) Destiny Fulfilled - Destiny's Child

19) The Duchess - Fergie

20) Final Straw - Snow Patrol

21) Grey's Anatomy Soundtrack - Psapp, Snow Patrol, The Cardigans, Lisa Loeb, Merrick, Coldplay, Faders, Ivy, Joe Purdy, Joshua Radin, Landon Pigg, Sylvie Lewis

22) Undiscovered - James Morrison

23) The Beack Soundtrack - All Saints, Orbit, Richard Ashcroft, Asian Dub Foundation, Sugar Ray, Leftfield

24) Honey Soundtrack - Shawn Desman, Jada Kiss, Yolanda Adams, Tweet, Aaliyah

25) In My Own Words - Ne-Yo

26) Loose - Nelly Furtado

27) November's Chopin - Jay Chou

28) Spiceworld - Spice Girls

29) Supermodel of the World - RuPaul

30) Tattoo Colour - Tattoo Colour

you say: 'how could he possibly listen to all those songs?'

time management, baby. multitasking. binging.

go get some life!

get a life. hear music.

if you think you are right, then there must be something wrong along the way...

you may never notice how things can go wrong until a patch of dirt has lined your french pedicure, if there's such a thing. and earth and dirt on your feet are as easy as brushing your teeth.

but was a there a time that you thought you might have been wrong somewhere while everything is going on just fine?

maybe im just tired or gloomy or feel-so-incapable or dormantly-participating or just-always-waiting-for-the-right-time-not-taking-any-risks type of person. the last one could be a potential danger, eh?

calculated risks are not just daring moves but a channel to assess your strengths and the lengths that you can go.

and knowing that you are not alone traversing the less-travelled, or shall we say, the un-carpeted floors, it will be a more gratifying experience well when you reached the podium and share your journey's lessons to everyone.

and E! is a small alley near Champs-Ellysees with lots of trees, beautiful lights, but muddy brick road.

don't we all love irony?